back to reality: working mum edition (funerals)

i never thought in a million years i would be back here... at a funeral. working at a funeral. handing out cards and greeting mourners and getting paid to attend. what the heck? how did this happen?

well. rewind a bit. to the beginning of january when my father-in-law died and my friend ellie and her husband keith turned up a day or two later to arrange the funeral. funny thing was, all they had to do was book it - i had arranged the entire thing already, down to the coffin, the flowers, the entire church service and even the hymns. keith was flabbergasted. obviously he knew i was an ex funeral director myself, but hadn't expected me to have done all that, that quickly. 

i kid you not, next words out of his mouth were, "your talents are being wasted." me: "no they aren't, i have children to look after." yes yes, okay, but are you busy from january 6-12? um what? turns out he and ellie are going to melbourne for a conference and they need someone to come in and arrange/conduct/run the place while they are out of town. they own a small independent, family owned funeral home, not far out of perth. well. after much discussion with my husband and working out who can watch my last born child while the other two are at school... we made it work and here i am. to explain it best, it feels weird. but also feels like i'm home after a long time away if that makes any sense at all. so, here i am, at a funeral, wondering what on earth is going to go down next week!

************************

reporting back now this is all over and done. 

ellie said i would probably only have to come into the office if there was an arrangement and if i was lucky it would only be once or twice. i ended up doing eight arrangements in six days, assisting with a transfer from a nursing home in ellenbrook on a sunday afternoon and then conducting my friends mothers funeral!!!! so much for coming in once or twice hahahahah! it was a good challenge though and i was pleased to know at the end that i hadn't made any mistakes and it really had all come back to me once i began. alex went between aunty niques (who has now left to go back to the united states), nannaleah and my mum - with a few days at home with dad and did amazingly well, i stayed sane (ish lol) and coped okay, but was a bit on edge about some of the paperwork being that prices etc have changed so much since i was last in the office... but it went well and maybe one day i will be back here full time? who knows. i am very grateful to not need to work and for a husband who works hard so i can be home with the kids, but i did enjoy my time doing something for me - and being able to help ellie out while she was away to not have to worry about anything. 

so for a little longer - funerals, i'm out! 

teach them young

the coord girls back together again ❤

spent the day educating my children in fremantle today. my two old work colleagues from when i worked in the coordination office messaged me a few weeks ago and asked me to bring the kids in for a visit, so with all this school holiday time, i happily obliged.

the two of them after all these years are actually back in the same office together, but not the one we were all in. the funeral home they are in is one of the prettiest in the group we worked in - pretty enough in fact that one of the guys we worked with got married there!

alex loved getting acquainted with a fellow redhead - susie loved playing with madeline as a baby and says alex looks just the same, no surprises there - we all say the same thing. 

kids got put to work. hahaha!

and had a guided tour of the place by two willing guides.

seriously so pretty... this is the dome in the foyer of the building

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from there we stopped in to see my grandparents at the fremantle cemetery - here is joseph with one set of his great-grandparents, including great-grandfather joseph (my dad's dad) that he was named after.

and madeline with my mums parents - madeline was named after the book madeline by ludwig bemelmans, but mum pointed out a few years after she was born that it was particularly suitable as her mum was gwendoline madge and her name is a mix of the two.

and baby alex had his first introduction too!

i have always loved fremantle cemetery, it feels like home to me, after having all four of my grandparents laid to rest there and working there for so many years. it is such a peaceful place with many beautiful areas.

and on the way home - we stopped in to the krispy kreme factory in myaree - to get the kids one each. alex was so obsessed with wanting to get hold of josephs donut, which lead to this hilarious picture. everytime i see joseph's face i just crack up.

it was a pretty fabulous day. i love school holidays and these little people so much!

a sad goodbye

over the last few weeks, our ward has been left to deal with a tragedy that truly left us shaken and in mourning. we lost 3 of our members and it was a horrible time for us to deal with. i have been amazed at the outpouring of love that has been shown throughout this time. of our sisters offering comfort to each other, serving in anyway they could and simply showing so much love. i know that the family truly felt of our love and concern and i am so grateful to be a part of and represent the relief society of the church of jesus christ of latter-day saints, especially  in a time like this.

our sisters in the gospel love, support and serve so easily, without hesitation. i am so grateful to have had so many of them by my side yesterday as we said a sad goodbye to 3 people we loved so much.

as i have said before (many times i am sure), i spent the better part of 10 years working in a funeral home on and off and learnt so much, including so many things that i could never put into words or advice that i could never attempt to write down on paper. but, when i came across these quotes some time back, i could see that they explain grief so much better than i ever could. so please use them, quote them and pass them on to those you know that are mourning, because i feel like they could really help someone. 

♥

the end of a long day

i was driving home from york this evening and pulled over on the side of the road to take a picture because the colours made by the setting sun were just so beautiful. of course an iphone picture can't capture that. 

it was a lonnnnnng day for my friend keryn and her family as they farewelled her father kevin after many years of a long illness that finally took his life last sunday morning. keryn was amazing, cared for him as much as she was able and even remained with him at the hospital that last night to make sure he wasn't alone when his time came. 

his funeral today was incredible, being the postmaster of a small country town, it seemed that most of the town had arrived to pay their respects and as the eulogy and other tributes were read, i felt like he became more to me than just keryns dad. he had a cracking sense of humour and it was certainly recalled. 

farewell kev, may you rest now, in peace ♥

saying goodbye to a sweet angel

today the bravest people i know said goodbye to their little girl and laid her to rest. there were plenty of sadness and tears, but most of all there was hope. i know that they have no doubt of a day that will come, when they will hold her again. i thank my father in heaven every day for the knowledge that

families are forever ♥

strength beyond their own

i'll lend you for a little time

a child of mine, god said

for you to love her while she lives

and mourn for when she's dead

it may be six or seven years,

or twenty two or three

but will you, 'til i call her back,

take care of her for me?

she'll bring her charms to gladden you,

and shall her stay be brief

you'll have her lovely memories

as solace for your grief

i cannot promise she will stay

as all from earth return

but there are lessons taught down there

i want this child too learn

i've looked the wide world over

in my search for teachers true

and from the throngs that crowd lifes lane

i have selected you

now will you give her all your love

and not think the labour vain

nor hate me when i come to call

to take her back again

i fancied that i heard them say

'dear lord thy will be done'

for all the joy thy child shall bring

the risk of grief we'll run

we'll shelter her with tenderness

we'll love her while we may

and for the happiness we've known

forever grateful stay

but should the angels call for her

much sooner than we've planned

we'll brave the bitter grief that comes

and try to understand

i got one of those calls tonight that no one wants. i've been a funeral director for 10 years now, but nothing prepares you for the moment that a friend calls upon you for help because someone has passed away. even less when that someone is their child, who is still a baby. 

my sweet friends from church lost their 9 week old baby girl this week to sids (sudden infant death syndrome), she went down for her nap and never woke. she slipped from this life to the next, back to the arms of her heavenly father. it breaks my heart to know of the pain they are feeling, but as i sat with them and helped them, answered their questions and helped them through the funeral process, i felt peace. they spoke so bravely and with a sure knowledge that their family is eternal. that their sweet girl will be back in their arms one day. i know they have truly "cast their burdens upon the lord" and feel peace in their hearts, along with the anguish. they have truly been blessed through prayer, with strength beyond their own.

how grateful i am for the sealing power of the temple. to know that my family is also eternal... and to know that i will be with them after this life and throughout the eternities. 

"sweet is the peace the gospel brings"

a funeral fit for a funeral director

photo courtesy of abc.net.au

today was truly one of the saddest funerals i have attended in my life. a few weeks ago i spoke of a visit to the hospital... to visit a dear friend who i feared would not be with us when i returned from brisbane. as fate would have it, i was right... and my friend bill passed from this life to the next while i was away.

bill was truly one of a kind. to know him was something else. i met him during my early days with chippers as our company worked along side his and had the pleasure of spending many hours with him getting to know him better. he was conveniently in the same ward as us too, so we had sundays for a chat as well. he was so quirky, always saying the most random things and always had me laughing.

his funeral was just the same... i cried, but it was between laughter. his wife ellie and his seven children spoke of his character with such love, whilst keeping his quirkiness alive through many stories and experiences that many of us remembered. ellie made us all laugh especially by recounting a conversation she had had with bill during his final weeks in the hospital, when he had informed her that he wanted a private funeral. what a crack up. after his years of service to the saints in perth, he wanted to slip away privately? ellie was having none of that and of course the chapel was filled to the stage... it was practically like being at stake conference.

some words from our old bishop particularly stuck with me, as he spoke of bills dedication to serving others... he spoke of the words of gordon b hinckley as he dedicated the temple here in perth, asking the saints to wear out the carpets. to attend the temple and wear them out through service. as bill was dressed for his burial earlier this week, his wife fussed over his temple shoes noticing that they were worn thin. what finer example could there be of service than those shoes being completely worn? how many sessions would bill have had to attend to achieve that?

bill passed away on the same day as elder l. tom perry of the quorum of the twelve apostles and another friend who spoke joked that he had chosen that day as elder perry had needed someone to assist with the necessary arrangements on the other side, and who better than bill to do so? 

the graveside was especially meaningful, as bill had helped so many polynesian families over the years that he was given a traditional send off, having his coffin called onto the grave and then all the boys doing the haka once it was in place. doug and our friend nifae were called upon to assist and my tears flowed as i watched the polynesians pay their respects. what a beautiful culture i have been blessed to marry into.

goodbye bill. it was an absolute pleasure to know you and call you my friend. 

until we meet again ♥

hospital visits

my heart is hurting so badly. tonight i've been with doug to the hospital to visit a dear friend who probably won't be with us for much longer. i'm off to brisbane monday and was planning to visit when i return, but after speaking to one of his family members today, i was encouraged to go in asap, to say goodbye...

i'm so glad i did. he is a church friend, but also a friend from my early days in the funeral home... i was practically a shuttle between their funeral home and ours (the boys would always make me go to hang out with my "mormon friend"), when they did work for us and i loved the time  i got to spend with him chatting. we talked about everything, funeral related and not... and oh did we laugh. he is just an all round great guy.

i am so grateful to have known this man. to have been blessed with the time i've spent working alongside him. when we left the hospital tonight and said goodbye i cried and cried and didn't want to leave. death may have been such a huge part of my life, for such a long time, but when it is someone you know and someone you love, it's completely different.

10 years of funerals

it's a week of anniversaries! 10 years ago today i started as a funeral directors assistant with chipper funerals. 10 years ago. i can hardly believe it. married with two kids later (and on my second bout of maternity leave) i'm still at my first even full time job. i have literally learned how to do every single thing that was on offer other than embalming and driving a limousine and i am so proud that i have made it all that way. 

i am amazingly grateful to the then general manager who took a huge chance on a 21 year old and let me prove that i was worth it. i have loved every single moment over the years and can't even imagine a different path. 

i just wish i could find a picture of me with a hearse... but this is the only one i could find :(

farewell to jahvis

today i attended the funeral of this beautiful little boy. jahvis collins. such a gorgeous little boy, full of life and personality, but taken at the young age of 6. he had suffered from very aggressive leukemia for quite some time - endured so much, but is now in the arms of a loving and kind father in heaven. we know jahvi's aunt and uncle from church, who introduced us to his beautiful family. it has been a long and hard road for them - and i know they have found comfort in knowing that he is no longer in pain and can rest in sweet peace.

there was a sea of green clothes, jahvi's favourite colour - beautiful words spoken and songs sung - including an amazing tribute from his big sister kavana - before she joined her mum and step-dad serena and mark to sing teach me to walk in the light. i don't think there would have been a dry eye in the church - so many people were weeping openly for this young boy who touched the lives of everyone he knew. with his big eyes and amazing smile - to know jahvis was to love him!

our love and condolences are at this time with serena and mark - as well as his father chris and his family. he may be gone, but he will never be forgotten. 

I'll lend you for a little time,
A child of mine, God said.
For you to love him while he lives,
And mourn for when he's dead.

It may be six or seven years,
Or twenty- two or three...
But will you, til I call him back,
Take care of him for me?

He'll bring his charms to gladden you,
And should his stay be brief-
You'll have his lovely memories
As solace for your grief.

I cannot promise he will stay,
Since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there-
I want this child to learn.

I've looked the whole world over,
In my search for teachers true-
And from the throngs that crowd life's lane,
I have selected you.

So will you give him all your love?
Nor think the labour vain?
Nor hate me when I come to call-
To take him back again?

I fancied that I heard them say...
Dear Lord thy will be done.
For all the joys thy child shall bring-
The risk of grief we'll run.

We'll shelter him with tenderness,
We'll love him while we may
And for the happiness we've known,
Forever grateful stay.

But shall the angels call for him,
Much sooner than we'd planned...
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes-
And try to understand.
-Author Unknown

shipwrecked

shipwrecked - shane alexander

when my ship gonna come and will I hold till it does?

what should I believe as darkness falls on me?

can you hear me? is someone there?

am I losing my mind? am I losing my mind?

am I all alone? won't you rescue me?

talking to myself... staring at the sea

what will morning bring? will I hear that old sea bird sing?

will her colours fill my eyes as she sails through clear blue sky?

can you hear me? is someone there?

am I losing my mind? am I losing my mind?

am I all alone? won't you rescue me?

shapes in the darkness... staring at the sea

this is my favourite song. favourite. ever. i am obsessed and can't listen to it enough. it has just the right amount of misery for me. one day, i want it played at my funeral. i have written it here - so however far down the line it ends up being, no one can say they didn't know. :)

staff christmas party

 

last saturday night we had our staff christmas party at the crown burswood ballroom. it was such a fun night and we had a really great time. awesome outfits too!

doug was rocking what we referred to as his "one direction" outfit (burgandy chinos and a polka dot shirt from jayjays and a bow tie from gsi...) - no wonder there were screaming girls throwing themselves at his feet all night. hilarious.

 

we like to make people think that we are enjoying ourselves also, so it is imperative that we take a lot of ridiculous selfies at the dinner table. oh my. what an attractive couple.

 

my outfit was a black target dress that has a sheer top section (coupled - of course with a wonder tee underneath) that i bought from an opp in brisbane when we were there in june and the shoes, ohhhhh the shoes - gold glitter points, also from target that i lusted after for an an entire season - and then snapped up when they went on clearance for just $6.88 yessssssss!!! freaking loved it!



my gorgeous friend lisa (who i am losing to the u.s. in just over a week :( sob!) did my hair and makeup and made me look smoking hot, which i was well pleased with... leese - you're a freaking legend! it always amazes me how quickly she does it and just what a good job she does. she totally should charge people... just not me of course!

the smoking hot girls of co-ord rocking the party... woooo

 



 

me and my boy. love him too much!

xx♥xx

rest in peace nan

nan and jen

 

last week my bestie's nan, at the ripe old age of 95, departed this life and moved on to the next. she was such a sweet old dear and i feel so lucky to have known her. doug and i went to her funeral on friday afternoon and hearing the stories of her life and getting to know her life a bit better was amazing. i know i'll miss seeing her at jen's house and only hope she is enjoying herself... tending to her garden x

 

♥ god saw you were getting tired,

and when a cure was not to be -

he put his arms around you,

and whispered... come to me ♥

 

for the money??

 

it's true. it's not for the money. not for a minute.

it's because we care for the families, or we wouldn't be here.

i love my job and wouldn't change it for the world

work shenanigans...

 

clearly we're all a bunch of whack jobs... need i say more? susie (currently rocking the afro clown wig on the right, next to el capitano mel) has a gigantic hat/ headpiece collection... and occasionally we feel the need to rock them out for the rest of the staff. :)

i love these girls - they make the day better, every day.

another day, another dollar...

so after exactly a year off - this week i started back at work. sigh.

we thought about it long and hard and decided that it was the right thing to do... doug and i really want to buy a house down the track and we'll use this time to save and save and save...

niques has come to stay with us for a year... and we'll see what happens after that - but it's so lovely having her here with us - i mean really, what could possibly be better than maddie being in her own house with family while i'm at work? that's right... nothing!

i'm in a new job - over in bookings now and the girls in the office are lovely. fingers crossed that it continues to be smooth sailing. :)

final farewell

our main reason for the trip to new zealand was to attend the unveiling of mama and papa's headstone. on friday morning we all went to the manakau memorial gardens and met with all of doug's family that had travelled from all over the world to be there 

doug's uncle sale spoke at the ceremony about families being together forever and even though i couldn't understand a word - i know that everyone around me could feel the beauty in what he was saying. doug's mum told me that the words on the top slab meant something along the lines of the words in the hymn 300 - families can be together forever... they pulled the tapa cloth off to show the headstones and that was it. a few hymns were sung, and again i didn't understand, but feeling it was enough.

it's been a whole year now since mama and papa passed away and as i said in previous posts it is tradition in the samoan culture that the family gather together as the headstone is unveiled. it is the last thing that we do for them, so it is a big deal, and being that i couldn't be at the funerals cause i was too far pregnant, we made a special effort to be there and most of all for maddie to be there with all the family that she'd not yet met. 

at the end of the ceremony balloons were released heavenward with messages attached for mama and papa. i have no doubt that the two of them sat with maddie before she came to us and got to know her - and again i take comfort in knowing that we are indeed part of a forever family and we will one day see them again.

maddie with her mama & papa 

♥♥♥

end of an era

this wonderful man was my boss for the 6 and a bit years that i worked with chippers before maddie arrived, but as of this friday just gone - he isn't anymore. it truly is the end of an era, kind of like i opened the floodgates when i packed up and left, there's only one of the original crew left. he's off to greener pastures, working as an office supplies rep. i don't think it'll ever be the same without him

r.i.p. mark. you'll be sadly missed

we heart perth!

miss maddie and i went for a little scenic tour of perth last week, after meeting uncle mark and aunty jamie-lee for lunch. one of the last funerals i did before maddie was born was for a 22 year old girl in st. georges cathedral. it was such an amazing funeral - the place was completely packed out, i would say there was more than 800 people there, and i watched... trying so hard not to cry as the father walked his daughter down the aisle, only instead of her being in a wedding dress, she was in a coffin. i can honestly say it was one of the saddest funerals i have ever been to, it just broke my heart. 

 

although we have done many funerals at st. georges, it was the first one i've ever been to. the chapel is so gorgeous - and i was dying to see how it looked when no one was inside - and i finally got my chance. it is so peaceful and beautiful - and maddie and i loved our few minutes in there. 

the beautiful altar area

their gorgeous lecturn (reminded me so much of fawkes the phoenix from harry potter!!)

the pipe organ, set above the foyer font, in a loft - almost gives the mormon tabernacle one a run for it's money!

and gorgeous london court. mum used to take me here as a little girl and we'd watch the moving clock strike. such a gorgeous place with lovely memories.

i can honestly say, there's no where i'd rather live... i'm so very lucky.

i ♥ perth!

chipper-versary with 2 months to go...

this monday 23.05 passed was my six year anniversary at chippers! six... freaking... years...! i am so proud, especially after all the boys taking bets on how long i would last when i started and me beating the lot of them. :) but it has flown by and i can't believe that it's been that long - and that 1. i'm still here and 2. i still love it enough to be here. here's to some more fun times in the future, but i am pretty sure there won't be another six!

monday was also - the "i've-got-two-months-to-go-til-the-baby's-due" day. looks like everything is happening at once! and you know what? i freaking love it! x