Kendall unveiling

Keeping with tradition, we held an unveiling ceremony for the Kendall grave, now that a year has passed since Oliveta passed away. Circumstances didn't allow anyone other than our family and the Pinkers to be in attendance, but the lovely Darrio videoed and edited the short ceremony for us, to allow us to share it with other family and friends.

Pinnaroo Valley Memorial Park is such a peaceful and sacred place. It is so easy to feel people close to you within the grounds. It was the perfect afternoon, meeting there at dusk, to share their plaque with others.

We were able to get hold of some traditional Samoan tapa for the occasion and carefully covered the grave with it and a white floral wreath.

It was a perfect nod to Oliveta's heritage.

Doug then carefully uncovered the plaque allowing Madeline to place the wreath directly onto the grave as he spoke and read a message from his sister in the US. Her words were so perfect that I want to add them here so we can keep them.

One afternoon, Mum and I were hanging out in her bedroom. She started crying. She was really missing her parents that day and wished she could go overseas to visit their grave. Today, I know how my mum felt.

But I will always remember our special conversation. Aware of her feelings, I aimed to comfort her. I reminded her, that her parents are not in fact, at their gravesite or place of burial. The Book of Mormon teaches that they go to a place prepared for them, and they live as spirits until the resurrection. But this place is filled with others, even family members who have passed. The scriptures teach us that our loved ones are busy! and they are still living. Just not at their gravesite.

I wanted to honor her today, by sharing her love for each of you. Even if you felt she hated you, she really didn't. She was tough because she wanted you to be better. But was one of the most knowledgeable, generous people I'll ever know.

I love you mum. I miss you every single day….. But I will do all I can in my life to choose the Lord... and make sure we will be a family again.

What a perfect final moment for the Kendall family.

I know Stephen and Oliveta are looking out for us and these three kids each and every day. We constantly feel of their love.

 

pinker family version 2020

what a way to end the year. photos at 8am on new years eve - because after that it is just too. damn. hot. while all the pinkers are here and together, we squeezed in a photo shoot for the family at lilac park/ under the west swan road guildford bridge. it is such a gorgeous spot and we got some adorable pictures, even bringing a photo of paul along to make sure everyone was included.

there was soooo much laughing from everyone and lots of giggles from serious little skyla. she is such a doll and i loved taking photos with her.

seriously. look at those eyes! what a cutie. i was even more touched to see that the dress we sent when she arrived was the dress emily chose for the photos!

what a cute little family they make!

i know paul is missed so much by the family and i know he would be so proud of all of them and what they have managed to do and be since he passed away. he was such an amazing man and i feel privileged to have been able to know him so well.

i am sure he would be especially proud of what a good dad theron has become. what more could you want for your children, than for them to have the chance to love their children as much as you loved them.

we love the pinkers!

so loved

we often stop by to visit stephen's grave, so oli can say hello and spend a little time chatting to him. i love the way she speaks as though he is there with us and tells him all about what's been going on. it was especially cute when she asked me to show him a photo of doug's new car. that was gold. 

i know he watches out for us and has had a hand in things... there is no way his estate could have been settled in that short an amount of time without some form of divine intervention!

but it's nice to spend a little time in the quiet with him and let him know how much he is loved and missed ❤

stephen's funeral

yesterday we said our last goodbye to stephen as we laid him to rest at the pinnaroo valley memorial park.  i had spoken to him about what he wanted for his funeral in the weeks leading up to his death and i can honestly say that more love went into his funeral than any other i have ever arranged in all my years at the funeral homes i worked in.

he wanted it to be simple. no fuss. just family and some friends, celebrating his life. no misery and as many laughs as we could muster. with oliveta's samoan background, a body would normally be taken to the family home for a few days where all of us would sleep around the body and spend time with it, but he didn't want that. instead, the night before all of our family gathered together at the funeral home with his open coffin and each spoke about what he meant to us. it was a beautiful, special and an intimate final time for all of us. we had also gone as an immediate family a few days earlier to dress him before he was placed in his coffin.

after our time on thursday evening, when we closed the coffin, dominique deliberately left one of the coffin screws slightly off centre, just to annoy him one more time. it entertained us all to no end when the coffin arrived at the chapel which was the best part.

at the funeral service we had a lot of family input. madeline sang a prelude item, "i feel my saviours love" and then spoke during the service.

God saw you were getting tired

and when a cure was not to be

He wrapped his arms around you

and whispered “come to me”

Hi my name is Madeline and I loved my poppy very much. He has been sick for a very long time, but he always had time to laugh with my brothers and I.

On New Year’s Eve, our family went to the hospital to have a party with poppy. We had so much fun, we listened to ACDC, popped party poppers, had glow sticks, ate pizza, drank sparkling juice and played games. It was the best! 

I’m so glad we got to spend that last time with him before we said goodbye. I miss him so much, but I know he’s not sick anymore, so I’m happy for him. 

I am going to read a little poem to remember him with. It’s called “Miss Me But Let Me Go.”

When I come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me

I want no tears in a gloom-filled room

Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little-but not too long

And not with your head bowed low

Remember the laughs that we once shared

Miss me-but let me go

For this is a journey that we all must take

And each must go alone.

It's all part of the Master's plan

A step on the road back home

When you are lonely and sad in your heart

With time, things get better, you know

Remember me, as you laugh each day

Miss me but let me go

I love you Poppy and I’ll never forget you.

I promise Joseph and I will tell Alex all about you.

Love, Maddie.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen. 

 i sang "where can i turn for peace?" which i somehow made it through... who knows how, but i felt so good being able to do one more thing for him. 

douglas gave the eulogy, which was just right. it explained him perfectly, which helped a lot of people who hadn't ever been able to get to know him the way we had.

For those of you who don't know my wife Jade, she worked for many years as a funeral director. I remember she once told me that a funeral is just like a wedding. You have your flowers, your groomsmen (or in this case, your pallbearers) and the coffin is your expensive dress. So, dad - I hope you like your new dress!

Stephen Douglas Kendall was born in Gisborne, New Zealand on the 6^th of May,1954, to Evan and Louisa Kendall. He was the oldest of three, with two younger sisters, Paula and Wanda. He always wanted to be a truck driver, from when he was a child. His mother wasn’t impressed with that and told him he had better go and learn a trade, so he became a carpenter. When he was 25 he travelled to Western Samoa for work, for Craig Construction. He loved the island life and became comfortable there, even finding himself a wife! Mum and Dad were married and I arrived in 1980. We moved back to NZ when I was still a baby – then became a family of 4 when my sister Dominique arrived in 1989. On the move again, we moved to Brisbane in 1991, dad first, to set us up and then the rest of us joined him.

Life was good to him there, we built a family home and he was working as a spreader driver for Allens Asphalt. Dad lived and breathed for that place. He loved his trucks and he loved his job. When we contacted Brad Allen a few weeks back to let him know about dad he wrote back something I’d love to share: "Your Dad was the most loyal and hard working out of all the people who have ever worked for me and he was only one of two employees who passed the 10 year mark. I miss those years at Allens we had such a great crew and plenty of fond memories. Tell him to stay positive to the end as he will live on in his family and friends memories always."

He was well known and liked at Allens, earning himself a great reputation amongst the staff and the nickname “LEGEND.” His work spoke for itself, meticulously finished, he took great pride in presenting all he did. If someone said it couldn’t be done, he’d be off to prove them wrong.

Mum and Dad moved to Perth in 2015, to be closer to family. Everything fell into place piece by piece and he said that was a sure sign it was the right move. He was happy with their new place, settled into work at Boral and was happy here spending time with family, especially his ratbag grandkids. One of his proudest moments was when Dominique returned from her mission and married Bryan. He said walking her down the aisle was something he had waited his whole life for and you couldn’t wipe the smile off his face that entire day.

As life would have it though, things became harder for him, from that time on. He was first diagnosed with cancer in 2012, which he overcame, only to have it return mid 2016. This time it was harder for him, the cancer more aggressive and he struggled to keep well. We watched him go from being the toughest bloke we knew, to relying on others, which he hated, as it got worse and worse. He was admitted to hospital time and time again, with the doctors baffled by how things progressed. But, it was his time. He was admitted for a final time in late November, moved to the Palliative Room on New Years Eve, where we began the new year as a family, and he left us on January 3^rd. He fought so hard to stay, made all kinds of plans for the future, but it just wasn’t to be. Mum, my sister and I were so lucky to be able to be with him as he took his final breaths. We know of the promise of our family being sealed for eternity and take comfort in knowing we will one day be together again.

Although he wasn’t able to attend church much over the past few years due to his illness, he knew of the truth of the gospel. We found a piece of paper in his room after he passed that read, FAITH: to be sure of the things we hope for, to be certain of the things we cannot see. Well dad, we cannot see you any longer, but I am certain you have gone to a better place. A place where you are whole again, and can finally get back to work.

Dad was so fiercely independent, he hated not being able to work. He often lamented that he felt useless and just wanted to “get back to it.” We wanted that for you dad. He was so proud of his family, he would always tell us how proud he was of all we did, but wasn’t afraid to tell us when we were being tools either.

Dad was a proud and hardworking man, with a love for three things: classic rock, anything with an engine and bad jokes.

His facebook profile “about me” still reads: I like rock music. Real rock. Not that modern crap. He loved to spend his days listening to his rock, but his all-time favourite was his precious AC/DC. He loved Bon Scott and was so excited when we showed him his special memorial area at the Fremantle Cemetery and his statue at the Fremantle Fishing Boat Harbour. During his final weeks, his greatest joy was listening to music on his portable speaker just loud enough to not receive noise complaints from other members of the hospital ward. Music was life to him. Back in his younger days he could be found listening to his music collection or playing a guitar. He had a very extensive collection of music, all rock.

Dad’s dream was always to own a Harley Davidson motorbike. It’s all he ever wanted. But every time the opportunity arose, he always found somewhere else the money was needed. He was forever putting our family first. We’ve found a way to make his dream come true today as he will be escorted on his final journey by two nice and loud motorbikes as we make our way to the Pinnaroo Valley Memorial Park.

Back in his younger years he restored quite a few vehicles and brought them back to life. He took great delight in telling us that a few of them were purchased by members of the mongrel mob in New Zealand. He just loved grease and petrol and keeping his hands busy. In the final weeks of his life, he went downhill so quickly, becoming so weak and I know the thing that hurt the most was no longer being able to use his hands. He struggled knowing he had always been able to keep busy, doing things all the time and hated relying on others to do everything for him.

Our family will forever be thankful for the team at Sir Charles Gairdner Hospital for the amazing care he received. Their staff on his ward are truly the best of the best. They always had kind words for dad, a smile and stacks of extra jelly in every colour. The nurses loved dad, he would joke with them and mess about. “Mr Kendall, How are you today?” “Ugh, not again.” “Mr Kendall did you have any other questions?” “Yes. Do these windows open?”

Dad, my life will not be the same without you in it. You were my greatest friend and the one person who was always ready with a joke, mostly at my expense. I know you were so proud of me and I’ll always try to live up to that. We all miss you, but know that you’re somewhere, probably having a jam with Bon Scott or working on another car.

We’d like to leave you today with dad’s favourite joke. It’s terrible, barely funny and straight up silly, but we promised we would tell it one last time.

A duck walks into a bar and asks the barman, “got any bread?”

“No?” says the barman

Next day the duck comes back and asks the barman again, “got any bread?”

“No” says the barman

The next day he comes in again. “Got any bread?”

“NO,” says the barman. “Now get out here before I nail your beak to the bar!”

“Got any nails?” asked the duck.

“No,” says the bartender.

“Got any bread?”

*******************************

as you read above - steve's whole life, all he wanted was a harley. he had spoken to us about it time and time again, and then something would always come up and it would go on the back burner again. for this reason, i wanted to make his dream a reality as we said goodbye to him. i contacted a local charity motorcycle club in a wild hope that they would possibly be able to help us by sending two of their members to escort him on his finally journey. to my absolute amazement they said yes! and were there with two shining harleys at the end of the service. nothing made me more emotional the whole day than watching them ride away escorting him.

stephen's escort on the way to pinnaroo cemetery. 

when we arrived at the grave, they waited for our pallbearers to carry the coffin across and then made a lot of noise as they rode away leaving us to have our burial. it was a perfect tribute.

  

stephens pallbearers were:

douglas (son)

bryan (son-in-law)

james (douglas's best friend, from childhood and still)

stephen (a friend from church who was there for him particularly at the end)

salevana (brother-in-law)

gerard (a cousin)

at the conclusion of the graveside service, dominique and i draped the lace cloth that had been covering his coffin over his coffin in the grave. it was a beautiful moment for us and looked really lovely to those who were there. we also threw pieces of asphalt into the grave which was such a cute goodbye, knowing that that had been such a huge piece of his life. we had also asked him to pick the songs for this part of the service and we had "back in black" by acdc, (we had to talk him out of highway to hell hahah), "old man" by neil young and he had jokingly told us he wanted "macho man" by the village people, so we did that too. i am sure he would have had a giggle about it.

(update - february 2020

we ended up selling stephen's car to his friend stephen from church and he told us a couple of days later that instead of throwing his piece of asphalt into the grave, he had slipped it into his pocket instead. it is now in the side pocket in the car and he gets to ride around with him all day every day. we thought that was so special.)

it was such a special day and truly the perfect goodbye. we were so grateful to have had so many family members here with us, even if that is what delayed the funeral taking place sooner. it was worth the wait. one of the most special parts was watching baby alexander james hanging out with his uncle james. i'm so glad they had the chance to meet, even in a time like this. 

new years eve in the hospital

doug's dad has been sick for a really time. he's had a form of cancer called mutiple myeloma, which affects his bone marrow. he was initially diagnosed back in 2012 and after treatments was cleared for a few years until he relapsed in august of 2016. the doctors have been trying their hardest to help, including trying multiple drugs that could have made a difference, but just last week they gave him the news that there was nothing else they could do to help him. he's always been such a private person, that i felt it wasn't appropriate to be sharing his sickness here and have just carried it with me, but seeing as this could well be the end, i want it to be here in my journal, for my children and our family to read one day.

we had been asked to a party at a friends house for new years eve, but when we got the news that stephen would be transferred to the palliative room at the hospital on new years eve, i had a really strong impression that that was where we needed to be. we rounded the kids up, packed snacks and picked up pizza on the way to have with our sparkling grape juice. we even packed some games and some party poppers to make sure the party would be rocking. haha.

steve was so happy to see us. he smiled, laughed and joked with the kids... and even insisted that i take this shot of him with his "alcohol" at the best party he'd ever been to. he was a crack up. after some photos with the kids and all of us he was pretty tired and drifted off, so we snuck out a little before midnight.

so blessed to be able to make beautiful memories with this great man. ❤

stake conference sept 2019

i love going along to stake conference. i always feel like there is something included in the talks just for me and i know that i am meant to be there listening. there is always amazing speakers chosen and so many important topics covered... plus it's lovely to catch up with so many friends afterwards that are there too.

 most of all we are so lucky to have our stake centre right beside the perth temple... i miss being able to take photos of our kids out front every sunday, so i absolutely take full advantage when we happen to be there. i love to see the temple... and even more so, see my family with it.

mothers day 2019

i seriously love my kids and am obsessed with them to the point that it's actually ridiculous. i can't live without them, but most days i feel like i can't really live with them either! but like i said, i love them - and that alone keeps me going. looking at this adorable photo certainly helps too. my husband who generally can't take a photo to save himself snapped this with barely any effort and now i am seriously suspicious of him. has he been lying all this time whilst secretly practicing his photography skills to impress me at a time like this?

in my opinion mother's day is the most ridiculous day of the year. feel free to change my mind. but when i still have to be a mum on the day i am meant to be appreciated and not do anything, it really seems pointless. i joked to one of the ladies at church today that the best thing anyone could ever get for mother's day would be 24 hours away from their kids. she laughed loudly and said she understood what i was saying only too well.  it probably doesn't help that alex hasn't been sleeping... all i really wanted for mother's day was a sleep-in or a nap. strangely enough, i got neither one.

the kids rushed in first thing in the morning to give me gifts which was amazing! our school p&c organised a stall with gifts purchased from a supplier, which cost between $2 and $6. i sent my kidlets in with their money and they picked what they wanted to get me! best idea ever!

joseph chose me this gorgeous necklace. i seriously love it and am so impressed with him! madeline got me a thermos mug. she loved it so much and was so excited to give it to me. i better start drinking hot drinks i guess, because it is also very cute.

i also got a card and a phone holder joseph made in class as well as an "about my mum" paper

my mum is 35 years old. her favourite food is rocky road (not wrong, but not my favourite thing) and she likes to drink water. when i am at school my mum looks after the baby. i think my mum looks the most beautiful when she wears a dress. 

what a little love!

maddie's class filled out one of those too:

my mum is 35 years old. her favourite food is honey chicken (true!) and she likes to drink juice. when i am at school my mum looks after my baby brother alex. i think my mum looks the most beautiful when she goes out. 

pretty spot on, both of them!

this had me in fits though... a report card about my mum. singing, cooking, cleaning, driving and cuddles... all A+, with a C+ for jokes. i am so offended haha. there i was thinking i was funny but in reality i think she got it right with her comment. 

knock knock. who's there? mum. mum who? best mum ever! 

not going to lie, that's absolutely something i would say!

my little haul from maddie. the bookmark is adorable too!

my favourite part of the day though, was finally being able to have my watercolour painting doug let me order from love stax. she is here in perth and paints the most gorgeous pictures from a photo in her own style. i sent her our family shot from alex's blessing day and here's what she did with it. i love it so much and am so thrilled with it!

dinner with dougs mum. i love to make things look fancy, something i definitely learned from my mother!

happy mother's day! you're all doing an amazing job!♥

easter 2019

we had the best easter sunday with our little family today. it was obviously alex's first one and i think he absolutely loved it! dom took this lovely photo of us after church and i love it! so rare to have all of us looking and smiling, what a legend!

the kids woke up early (ummm at 5am... at which time they were promptly sent back to bed, but too late, the baby had been woken and i was up for the day! ugh) to find malteaser packs and sloth socks, which they loved and put on immediately, with a humpty egg for alex... just because that's what i always remember mum getting for me!

there were also chocolate bunnies from nanna and grandad, so of course we had to pose for a photo with those too.

madeline was so funny. she had left a note out for the easter bunny with some carrots and of course expected a reply, but was very irritated to see that the easter bunny's hand writing looked very similar to mine. bahaha. i explained to her that there is no way a rabbit can hold a pen because they don't have opposable thumbs (which of course i then had to explain to her). after rolling her eyes at me, she finally decided it was okay that he had told me what to write and went on her way happy. she is a seriously smart girl and i don't think for a minute that she's actually convinced that any of these characters exist... but she's choosing to be like her mama and believe in anyone that brings presents. that's my girl. she did enjoy my quip about the leftover carrot pieces being magic though and was very happy to see them grated into the carrot cake i made for dessert.

i let alex have his first taste of chocolate, by sucking on my malteaster bunny... he was pretty pleased and i don't think he was keen on letting go of it.

we had a lovely church service, with beautiful hymns about easter. i had actually been asked to sing this year and chose to sing an arrangement of "i know that my redeemer lives" which went beautifully. i am so grateful for music and love being able to sing, especially for occasions like this.

I know that my Redeemer lives.

What comfort this sweet sentence gives!

He lives, he lives, who once was dead.

He lives, my ever-living Head.

He lives to bless me with his love.

He lives to plead for me above.

He lives my hungry soul to feed.

He lives to bless in time of need.

He lives to grant me rich supply.

He lives to guide me with his eye.

He lives to comfort me when faint.

He lives to hear my soul's complaint.

He lives to silence all my fears.

He lives to wipe away my tears.

He lives to calm my troubled heart.

He lives all blessings to impart.

He lives, my kind, wise heav'nly Friend.

He lives and loves me to the end.

He lives, and while he lives, I'll sing.

He lives, my Prophet, Priest, and King.

He lives and grants me daily breath.

He lives, and I shall conquer death.

He lives my mansion to prepare.

He lives to bring me safely there.

He lives! All glory to his name!

He lives, my Savior, still the same.

Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:

"I know that my Redeemer lives!"

He lives! All glory to his name!

He lives, my Savior, still the same.

Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:

"I know that my Redeemer lives!" 

after church, we had our easter egg hunt in the back yard like we do every year... i can't wait to watch alex out there running with them next year!

madeline was out like a shot, rounding up her share of the chocolates, complete with the egg catchers we found at kmart a few weeks ago for just $2. she had so much fun with hers and had us in fits grabbing away at everything including baby alex.

maddie complained that the hunt had been too easy in past years, but imagine her horror when she realised the final bunnies couldn't be found. she was so annoyed with us for actually making it harder. mate, parents can't win can they! they finally, with a lot of hints, worked out they were in dad's dart cabinet, then joseph was annoyed all over again, because he couldn't reach his! oh my word.

what a haul!

we had roast lamb for dinner, which we do every easter. easter lamb roast is the best! i feel a need to showcase these veggies, because they looked so good...

our table looked amazing too, with easter cookies at each place made by my friend jen and roses from another friends garden, that smelled like heaven.

and here's our carrot cake ready for dessert, made with those magic carrots.

a perfect day with our little family. ♥