there have been so many struggles within and around lately, stemming from depression and anxiety. it is such a huge thing, with so many people feeling it's effects. in fact, did you know that the average second grader suffers from the same amount of anxiety as a committed patient did in the 1950's? Isn't that incredible? and so frightening! i thought it was time we talked about it with the young women and gave them some coping mechanisms(or distractions!) and made sure that they know it's very real and very normal.
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I want to speak to you all of you girls today about something that’s very real and very hard in our lives. Most of you
at some stage in your life will encounter some form of anxiety and/ or
depression. If you are lucky enough for it to never affect you, then undoubtedly
it will affect someone you know.
Jeffrey R Holland spoke
about it at general conference a few years ago, in a talk called: Like a brokenvessel. I have a small video of him talking about it here (we watched 3:15-3:59, but if you have time watch the whole thing - it's so good)
In life and the universe,
there is opposition in all things. Health and sickness, happiness and sadness,
pleasure and pain, sweet and sour, light and darkness. Darkness is something
most often associated with depression, because it can feel as though you are
being swallowed by darkness. If any of you have read Harry Potter, JK Rowling
used the dementors to describe the crippling depression she had encountered,
something cold and dark, that sucked the life out of you and made it feel as
though you’d never be happy again.
Have any of you ever felt
anxious, or depressed? There is no shame in it. I want you to all close your
eyes for a moment. Okay, now raise your hands if you’ve ever felt either one. (Every single girl in our class raised their hand.)
So. Often we can feel as
though we are stuck in the darkness. Can you girls think about it for a moment
and tell me what the very best thing is to get rid of darkness. Thinkinnnnnng.
There is literally only one thing. LIGHT.
Martin Luther King once
said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness. Only light can do that.” So what can
we do, to reduce the effects of darkness? Fill our lives with light. Most
importantly, the light of the gospel. The atonement covers so many things. Did
you know, that we can call upon the power of the atonement to cover more than
just our sins? That we can ask our Saviour to help us with the pains of
sadness? Loneliness? Depression? Anxiety? Well we can. It’s not just there for
sins. Having depression and anxiety, is certainly not a sin, but it is there
for that too!
We need to be kind because
everyone we meet is fighting some kind of battle. I’m sure you’ve all heard of
people speaking to plants? That talking to them helps them grow etc? Well. If
talking nicely to plants helps them grow, imagine what speaking nicely to
humans can do. There was once an experiment done when someone showed the
effects of kind and negative words on things and I would love to show you. I am
sure you’ve all heard the hymn “Let us oft speak kind words” so here is a real
life demo.
So. Wow right? See what kind
of effect words can have? The rice is cooked in water, human bodies are made up
of 50-60% water.
When I was the ward relief
society president, there was a certain sister whose struggles were made known
to me. She was incredibly private, didn’t wish to discuss them, nor have any
one else discuss them. She didn’t want help. She wanted to be left alone with
them. I was rightly worried for her and didn’t want to see her struggle. But
over the weeks that followed, something amazing happened. She found someone
else who was struggling more than her. Who needed her. Who she was able to
serve… and through serving, forgot about her own struggles and managed to lift
herself out of the darkness. Serving others is an amazing blessing. Sometimes I
think it’s almost selfish to do so, as it’s so wonderful for us to reap the
benefits.
What are some things we can
do to distract ourselves from problems we might be facing? What can we do to
fill our lives with light?
Here’s a list I prepared
earlier and you get to keep them for days that you may need a distraction.
I also have 8 things for you
to remember during your hardest days:
8.
There is always, always, always something to be thankful for.
I love that last one so
much. When you focus on what you are thankful for, it is much harder to think
of the things that stress and upset you. I would highly recommend thinking of
things you are grateful for when the darkness is coming in.
I want to read you a
wonderful quote, in fact it’s from my favourite talk ever. Written before even
I was born! (You can read the entire thing here)
"A few years ago, we knew our Elder Brother and our Father in
heaven well. We rejoiced at the upcoming opportunity for earth life that could
make it possible for us to have a fullness of joy like they had. We could
hardly wait to demonstrate to our Father and our Brother, the Lord, how much we
loved them and how we would be obedient to them in spite of the earthly
opposition of the evil one.
And now we’re here—our memories are veiled—and we’re showing God and
ourselves what we can do. And nothing is going to startle us more when we pass
through the veil to the other side than to realize how well we know our Father
and how familiar his face is to us. And then, as President Brigham Young said,
we’re going to wonder why we were so stupid in the flesh.
God loves us. He’s watching us, he wants us to succeed, and
we’ll know someday that he has not left one thing undone for the eternal
welfare of each of us. If we only knew it, there are heavenly hosts pulling for
us—friends in heaven that we can’t remember now, who yearn
for our victory. This is our day to show what we can do—what life and sacrifice we can daily, hourly, instantly bring to
God. If we give our all, we will get his all from the greatest of all."
Did you hear that girls? We
literally have people on the other side of the veil cheering us on. Hoping we
make it through our trials. Yearning for our victory. We are never, ever alone.
Our Father in Heaven is watching us, beside us, holding us, every step of the
way. He is waiting for us to call on him and ask for his help.
In closing, I want to leave
you with one last video. I want you to think first. If you had to think of who
the most righteous women in the whole world are, who would you say? In MY
opinion it would be the general relief society presidency and board. You would
think that they have it all. Not problems, just perfect wholesome lives. But
recently they made a video showing that they are just like us. They all have
their struggles.
Girls. I pray you never have
to deal with huge emotional and mental struggles, but I am realistic and
understand it’s a possibility. I truly hope you can find ways to cope, distract
yourself or help another during hard times. I have a little handout for you and
I feel this quote is perfect for this lesson. A very wise man called Albus Dumbledore once said: Happiness can
be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to
turn on the light. (Can we found at the top of this post, I handed it to the girls in a little cellophane bag with a tealight candle each - to create their own light.)
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i feel like the lesson went really well, they were all certainly very attentive for once, so hopefully it will have the desired effect. i had popcorn for the treat, explaining that popcorn starts as something hard that we cannot enjoy, until it suffers through heat and comes out completely different, ready to be enjoyed. hopefully suffering through trials can make us something great too.
