back to reality: working mum edition (funerals)

i never thought in a million years i would be back here... at a funeral. working at a funeral. handing out cards and greeting mourners and getting paid to attend. what the heck? how did this happen?

well. rewind a bit. to the beginning of january when my father-in-law died and my friend ellie and her husband keith turned up a day or two later to arrange the funeral. funny thing was, all they had to do was book it - i had arranged the entire thing already, down to the coffin, the flowers, the entire church service and even the hymns. keith was flabbergasted. obviously he knew i was an ex funeral director myself, but hadn't expected me to have done all that, that quickly. 

i kid you not, next words out of his mouth were, "your talents are being wasted." me: "no they aren't, i have children to look after." yes yes, okay, but are you busy from january 6-12? um what? turns out he and ellie are going to melbourne for a conference and they need someone to come in and arrange/conduct/run the place while they are out of town. they own a small independent, family owned funeral home, not far out of perth. well. after much discussion with my husband and working out who can watch my last born child while the other two are at school... we made it work and here i am. to explain it best, it feels weird. but also feels like i'm home after a long time away if that makes any sense at all. so, here i am, at a funeral, wondering what on earth is going to go down next week!

************************

reporting back now this is all over and done. 

ellie said i would probably only have to come into the office if there was an arrangement and if i was lucky it would only be once or twice. i ended up doing eight arrangements in six days, assisting with a transfer from a nursing home in ellenbrook on a sunday afternoon and then conducting my friends mothers funeral!!!! so much for coming in once or twice hahahahah! it was a good challenge though and i was pleased to know at the end that i hadn't made any mistakes and it really had all come back to me once i began. alex went between aunty niques (who has now left to go back to the united states), nannaleah and my mum - with a few days at home with dad and did amazingly well, i stayed sane (ish lol) and coped okay, but was a bit on edge about some of the paperwork being that prices etc have changed so much since i was last in the office... but it went well and maybe one day i will be back here full time? who knows. i am very grateful to not need to work and for a husband who works hard so i can be home with the kids, but i did enjoy my time doing something for me - and being able to help ellie out while she was away to not have to worry about anything. 

so for a little longer - funerals, i'm out! 

a funeral fit for a funeral director

photo courtesy of abc.net.au

today was truly one of the saddest funerals i have attended in my life. a few weeks ago i spoke of a visit to the hospital... to visit a dear friend who i feared would not be with us when i returned from brisbane. as fate would have it, i was right... and my friend bill passed from this life to the next while i was away.

bill was truly one of a kind. to know him was something else. i met him during my early days with chippers as our company worked along side his and had the pleasure of spending many hours with him getting to know him better. he was conveniently in the same ward as us too, so we had sundays for a chat as well. he was so quirky, always saying the most random things and always had me laughing.

his funeral was just the same... i cried, but it was between laughter. his wife ellie and his seven children spoke of his character with such love, whilst keeping his quirkiness alive through many stories and experiences that many of us remembered. ellie made us all laugh especially by recounting a conversation she had had with bill during his final weeks in the hospital, when he had informed her that he wanted a private funeral. what a crack up. after his years of service to the saints in perth, he wanted to slip away privately? ellie was having none of that and of course the chapel was filled to the stage... it was practically like being at stake conference.

some words from our old bishop particularly stuck with me, as he spoke of bills dedication to serving others... he spoke of the words of gordon b hinckley as he dedicated the temple here in perth, asking the saints to wear out the carpets. to attend the temple and wear them out through service. as bill was dressed for his burial earlier this week, his wife fussed over his temple shoes noticing that they were worn thin. what finer example could there be of service than those shoes being completely worn? how many sessions would bill have had to attend to achieve that?

bill passed away on the same day as elder l. tom perry of the quorum of the twelve apostles and another friend who spoke joked that he had chosen that day as elder perry had needed someone to assist with the necessary arrangements on the other side, and who better than bill to do so? 

the graveside was especially meaningful, as bill had helped so many polynesian families over the years that he was given a traditional send off, having his coffin called onto the grave and then all the boys doing the haka once it was in place. doug and our friend nifae were called upon to assist and my tears flowed as i watched the polynesians pay their respects. what a beautiful culture i have been blessed to marry into.

goodbye bill. it was an absolute pleasure to know you and call you my friend. 

until we meet again ♥

hospital visits

my heart is hurting so badly. tonight i've been with doug to the hospital to visit a dear friend who probably won't be with us for much longer. i'm off to brisbane monday and was planning to visit when i return, but after speaking to one of his family members today, i was encouraged to go in asap, to say goodbye...

i'm so glad i did. he is a church friend, but also a friend from my early days in the funeral home... i was practically a shuttle between their funeral home and ours (the boys would always make me go to hang out with my "mormon friend"), when they did work for us and i loved the time  i got to spend with him chatting. we talked about everything, funeral related and not... and oh did we laugh. he is just an all round great guy.

i am so grateful to have known this man. to have been blessed with the time i've spent working alongside him. when we left the hospital tonight and said goodbye i cried and cried and didn't want to leave. death may have been such a huge part of my life, for such a long time, but when it is someone you know and someone you love, it's completely different.

10 years of funerals

it's a week of anniversaries! 10 years ago today i started as a funeral directors assistant with chipper funerals. 10 years ago. i can hardly believe it. married with two kids later (and on my second bout of maternity leave) i'm still at my first even full time job. i have literally learned how to do every single thing that was on offer other than embalming and driving a limousine and i am so proud that i have made it all that way. 

i am amazingly grateful to the then general manager who took a huge chance on a 21 year old and let me prove that i was worth it. i have loved every single moment over the years and can't even imagine a different path. 

i just wish i could find a picture of me with a hearse... but this is the only one i could find :(

chipper-versary with 2 months to go...

this monday 23.05 passed was my six year anniversary at chippers! six... freaking... years...! i am so proud, especially after all the boys taking bets on how long i would last when i started and me beating the lot of them. :) but it has flown by and i can't believe that it's been that long - and that 1. i'm still here and 2. i still love it enough to be here. here's to some more fun times in the future, but i am pretty sure there won't be another six!

monday was also - the "i've-got-two-months-to-go-til-the-baby's-due" day. looks like everything is happening at once! and you know what? i freaking love it! x

trashed

exhibit a: my completely trashed funeral shoes...

completely trashed, letting in sand on burials trashed.
and... they'll probably be the last pair i ever do trash,
as there's just 3 months left until i leave for the baby to arrive!!

but for those who say we do nothing all day?
these shoes prove otherwise!

ps: i realised afterwards, the tops don't look all that bad -
yeah the lining is shot, but it was the bottoms and the sides
that really were shot - oh well, too late
they're more than likely already at the tip ;)

makes it all worth it

occasionally you have one of those days at work that reminds you exactly why you do what you do.
today was one of those for me...

obviously won't be mentioning names, but we did a funeral today for a gentleman about 10 or so years older than my dad - with children around my age...

at the end of the service the pallbearers wheeled the coffin out of the church and then carried it down the stairs - before lifting the coffin onto their shoulders and carrying it to the hearse that way. the two gentlemen at the back of the procession wrapped their arms around each others shoulders for balance (and support also i assume...) it was such an amazing sight... i know this used to be the norm for all funerals - but in these days of occupational health and safety blah blah blah - it's not done and in fact basically discouraged, so it really touched me. five and a half years in a funeral home and i have never once seen a coffin shouldered before. it is impressive! and certainly brought more than one tear to my eyes...

and reminded me exactly why i do what i do

:')

photograph courtesy of the funeral scene in love actually
(one of my all time favourite movies- check it out!)

the funeral playlist

oh my gosh
i am sure you can imagine that i have been to a few funerals
in my 5 & and half years in the funeral home.
a couple of hundred at least...and what truly amazes me, is the lack of originality in
peoples song choices

so i would like to present below...
my top 20 funeral songs based on the songs i hear day after day

1. time to say goodbye - andrea bocelli and sarah brightman
2. my way - frank sinatra
3. pachelbels canon - johann pachelbel
4. amazing grace - charlotte church
5. true blue - john williamson
6. angel - sarah mclachlan
*nb. does no one realise the song is about suicide?? hel-lo!!*
7. we'll meet again - vera lynn
8. unforgettable - nat king cole
9. wonderful world - louis armstrong
10. wish me luck as you wave me good bye - vera lynn
11. the wind beneath my wings - bette midler
12. memories - barbra streisand
13. the lord's my shepherd - the st. philips boys choir
14. amazing grace - on bagpipes. (augh!)
15. lara's theme (somewhere my love) - dr zhivago
16. the prayer - insert-any-artist-here
17. only time - enya
18. somewhere over the rainbow - judy garland
19. forever young - youth group

and if you're a mormon - just for good measure...
20. god be with you 'til we meet again

someone kill me please...
and for goodness sake... don't play any of these songs at my funeral!

5 years at chippers...

that's right kids...
five years at chippers!!
sunday the twenty-third of april brought my

five-year-anniversary

and most days i still love my funeral job

it's crazy, the people i work with are crazy -

and i'm clearly crazy

but i'm still here

i always swore the minute they handed me that pin i was out the door - but the pin came last week and i'm still here...
who knows what the future will bring :)

i see dead people! for real...

i see dead people - for real.
i'm a funeral director, and have been, for the last five years

but...

i'm thinking about a career change.
there's only so many funerals, coffins and the
likes that one can stomach.
i think i am fast approaching breaking point... or suicide. haha
- i have heard more than once the only way that one can
leave a funeral home is in a coffin.

my job is definately rewarding - but is a damn lot of hard as work,
very emotionally draining, and ages you - majorly!

i'll keep you posted!

horse drawn hearse

fun being short for funeral of course!

not every funeral is a somber sob-fest
this one we did yesterday was certainly not

the gentleman that died loved horses and his family decided he should go out the right way
so we called in lara of golden sunset tours who provided them with our historic "crystal hearse" for the service.
the company i work has been going since 1889 and this is one of our original hearses, restored to it's former glory, all ready for use

it was an awesome sight watching the horse-drawn hearse roll into the cemetery right on time, trotted down the main road by the two beautiful huge horses

it was an amazing experience
one that i certainly won't forget for a very long time

it's days like this that make everything about my job all worth it :)