with great sadness, we announce the passing of our dear mother oliveta kendall. 18/10/1959 - 07/04/2021 after a long battle with cancer, she passed way peacefully in her sleep with her family by her side. strong and determined, she fought to the very end. she will be missed so very much by her children douglas & jade and dominique & bryan and her grandchildren madeline, joseph and alexander. she was a much loved sister, aunty and friend. we are humbled by the outpouring of love we have received and are grateful for each and every message.
the day we dreaded has arrived. my beautiful mother in law finally slipped from this life to the next this afternoon. she fought so hard, for so long and just didn't want to leave us. but we know she has finally been reunited with her beloved steve and is sleeping peacefully for the first time in months,
doug called through to the hospital as soon as he was able on tuesday morning and was told to bring her straight in, where the doctors started running tests to try and see what was wrong. they gave her some strong painkillers to ensure she was comfortable, then continued to check in throughout the day. her dr came in to see her and said they were checking whatever they could to see how they could help.
doug finally came home late tuesday night, exhausted but not at all happy about having left his mum alone at the hospital. i offered to go and sit with her which he was so happy with, so i packed some things and went in just after midnight to sit with her. she woke up when i arrived and spoke to me briefly, so i held her hand and chatted away to her telling her about my day and funny things the kids had done at my mums until she fell asleep again. it sounds like a terrible thing to say, but from the minute i walked into that room, i knew she was dying. i could smell it and feel it in the air. people think i'm crazy, but death has such a distinct smell and it's something you would never forget. being that i have attended to hundreds of transfers in my years in the funeral home, i knew it was in the air.
throughout the night she would wake and cry out, so i would hold her hand and chat away to her. i distinctly remember that sometime in the middle of the night that she looked right at me and said, "doug needs you jade. promise me you'll never leave him." of course i promised and she settled again. i told her that if she needed to go it was okay and that i would look after her grandchildren and always keep them safe. she smiled every so often, but she was so uncomfortable and keep moaning in her sleep.
doctor dean came in the morning to see her as soon as he arrived in the hospital. doug had taken our kids to the pinkers and dropped them off so he could come back to the hospital, so he had already come back to her by then. when dr dean came in, he asked her how she was doing and in true oli form, she croaked, "oh not too bad." it was always her way, even when she felt her worst.
he took us outside and said that her body was shutting down and there was nothing else they could do to intervene or assist, but that if there was anyone who needed to come, that we had better notify them straight away to make sure they came quickly. doug called her sisters and they hopped on the first flight that was available along with ann-marie and ollie his cousins.
the nurses came and changed her sheets and her robe sometime around lunch which annoyed me a little as she cried out multiple times from the pain it caused and i really felt like it was unnecessary, but i know they were just doing their job and tried to be grateful for them.
the pain got worse for her and the nurses fitted her with a pump that would dose her automatically with a small amount of morphine each hour and for the first time since i had arrived, she fell into a deep sleep. doug had contacted our bishop and he arrived and after talking to her, you could tell she knew he was there with her. as the hours went by and her breaths became slower, he laid her hands on her head and gave her a blessing of peace to guide her on her journey to the next life. it was beautiful and such an emotional time for all of us, but i was so glad he was there with us and to be able to offer that final act of service to her.
her breaths became slower and slower, until finally she took her final breath, with douglas and i by her side and dominique on the phone. bishop and her neighbour keryn stepped out into the hallway to allow us a few minutes alone. i truly treasure those final moments with her - and especially being able to spend that final night with her. to know she was safe and loved and not alone.
there truly is no words to explain the way i feel right now. i never knew it was possible to feel so happy and so sad at the same time. i am elated she is no longer in pain and back with her stephen, but i am so sad that i have lost not only my second mother, but one of my dearest friends. the years i was able to spend with her, are priceless to me.
there are very few people in this world that can say they were as loved by their in-laws as i can. my mother-in-law loved me and showed me often. she was always calling me, buying food she knew i liked, letting me whinge to her and helping with the kids.
the greatest joy in her life was her grandchildren. she was so madly in love with them and spoiled them rotten. we were absolutely devastated to find out she had cancer the week after alex was born and as we watched her get more and more ill over the last two and half years, it's been heartbreaking. even after she lost her stephen, she held on for so long and fought so hard. most of all she never complained. a classic example was her telling dr dean this morning "oh i'm not too bad."
you will always be in our hearts and never, ever forgotten. sleep peacefully. ❤
