oli's family service

tonight we had oli's family service at the chapel in the hall. it was a lovely evening, a little less formal than tomorrow will be, with the coffin open and lots of stories and laughs and food afterwards. it was beautifully set up, with white wreaths ordered for the occasion and tapa cloth set out for the coffin to rest by.

it was all perfect for her and she looked like an angel all in white. 

after stephen died, oli had told me every single thing she wanted for her funeral and i had spent months adding to my notes about what she wanted so that things would be perfect. she didn't want any fuss and wanted things just like stephen had had. the same coffin even. a few months ago i found a measure of white lace and showed it to her, as one of her requests was to have a white lace covering on her coffin. it had been hemmed and waiting in a bag and finally went on her coffin today. 

dominique chose her flowers from photos we sent, so she still had the chance to be included and we spent hours and hours on facetime oganising things, working out the eulogy and every other detail. it proved just too hard to get her into australia with the restrictions being that she isn't an australian citizen, so we don't know if her application would be accepted, the air fares plus hotel quarantine costs was almost $30k, then getting her back into the us would be a whole nother story again. in the end we decided as a family that staying there was safer.

❤

dog was asked by his mothers sisters to conduct the evening and did an incredible job, held it together like you wouldn't believe and was so strong. with the wonders of modern technology, we even managed to have this family service as well as the church and burial services tomorrow live streamed  and available for a later download for all her loved ones who were not able to attend.

the most incredible part of the evening was matthew douglas sending his great aunt out with a heartfelt haka. 

the spirit in the room was so strong and felt by all who were lucky enough to be a part of the evening.

we even displayed some lovely things of hers in the passage outside the hall, some family photos and her favourite quilt. her quilt has been with her for the last 6 months, almost to the day. she had always wanted a quilt all of her own and this was made especially for her, by my mother with samoan fabrics as a gift when douglas turned 40. she loved it so much and was brought to tears. she has had it with her at home and for every hospital stay and was even covered with it when she slipped from this life to the next. she treasured it so much and i know she would have loved that it was with her today too.

now to make it through tomorrow. deep breaths.