mental health check

i have learned a lot of things in the past few weeks about who i should and should not be friends with. without elaborating, a friend said something in a public forum that another friend did not agree with and the that person made complaint after complaint to me about it, in such a way that she suggested it was my responsibility to fix it and undo the stress it had caused her. 

this sent me into a stress spiral, a real anxiety overload. it had nothing whatsoever to do with me, but as the days went on it was making me more and more stressed until i felt physically unwell about it with a constant headache. it was only through the help of another friend who unfortunately had to be involved, that i was able to realise that it did not concern me in the slightest and it was wrong to have been brought to my attention with those expectations in the first place. but ughhhhh. it still annoys me thinking about it.

i now feel more confident in knowing when something is not my concern - and seeing this post online this week was a real lightbulb moment for me. i often have tried and tried to be friendly with people i don't like purely because it's the "right thing to do" and i now know it is okay to walk away. there is no reason to force it and it's so much healthier for me mentally to not have to force it and feel uncomfortable the whole time! in fact, there are a few people i have given the chop since coming to this realisation and it has helped me so much!

this also spoke volumes to me when i came across it. i genuinely believe the person mentioned above who took offence at the post had felt that way, because they had been looking for the things that hurt them. it's easy to spot things that offend you, when you are always thinking of things that offend you. i really don't believe that was what had been intended by the poster and for some blasé comment that they hadn't thought much of, it had caused a world of problems for me. i now know also not to read too much into comments made by others on the internet. lot's of learning to be had here.

but in the midst of all the stress and mental discomfort for me, i came across this post (it was quite the few weeks of discovering amazing posts on social media haha). "it came to pass." this time will pass for me, just as all other things that cause me stress and anxiety will. i just need to be still, have faith and most of all have patience. and somehow, they all come to pass.

but most of all, keeping these things of stress and anxiety to myself, does not help me get through them. being brave enough to talk to others and share how i feel and how i can get through them, allows them to help me. 

this has been a rough few weeks of learning, especially about others and when they are perhaps not helping me with my struggles, and how i need to know when to make that call. it's certainly done wonders for me. thank you internet!