train up a child

"train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." - proverbs 22:6

we just finished watching the october 2013 general conference sunday morning session, and i was blown away by the talk given by bonnie l. oscarson - the young womens general president. she spoke with great passion of her great grandmother and her dedication to keeping the gospel light burning bright within her home and family. (to read the full talk - click here)

"...I would like to share a conversion story from my family history about another of my heroes. Her name is Agnes Hoggan, and she and her husband joined the Church in Scotland in 1861. Suffering great persecution in their homeland, they immigrated to America with their children. Several years later, Agnes became a widow with eight children to support and worked hard to keep them fed and clothed. Her 12-year-old daughter, Isabelle, was lucky enough to find employment as a servant to a wealthy, non-LDS family.

Isabelle lived in their large home and helped look after their younger children. In exchange for her services, a small wage was paid each week to her mother. Isabelle was soon accepted as a member of the family and began to enjoy many of the same privileges, such as taking dance lessons, wearing beautiful clothing, and attending the theater. This arrangement continued for four years, until the family for whom Isabelle worked was transferred to another state. They had grown so fond of Isabelle that they approached her mother, Agnes, and asked for permission to legally adopt her. They promised they would provide her with a good education, see that she married well, and make her an heir to their estate with their own children. They would also continue to make payments to Agnes.

This struggling widow and mother had a hard decision to make, but she did not hesitate for a moment. Listen to the words of her granddaughter, written many years later: “If her love had not compelled [her] to say no, she had an even better reason—she had come all the way from Scotland and had gone through tribulations and trials for the Gospel, and she did not intend, if humanly possible, to let a child of hers lose what she had come so far to gain.” The wealthy family used every possible argument, and Isabelle herself cried and begged to be allowed to go, but Agnes remained firm. As you can imagine, 16-year-old Isabelle felt as if her life was ruined.

Isabelle Hoggan is my great-grandmother, and I am most grateful for the testimony and conviction that burned so brightly in her mother’s heart, which did not allow her to trade her daughter’s membership in the Church for worldly promises. Today, hundreds of her descendants who enjoy the blessings of membership in the Church are the beneficiaries of Agnes’s deep-seated faith and conversion to the gospel..."

i could only imagine the pain suffered by this courageous woman as she stood firm in her convictions and told her daughter the one word so hard to say - no. it was a reminder to me of all the times my own mother said no to me, for one reason or another, always with my best interests at heart, to keep me safe, to keep me close - and most of all to keep the fire of the gospel burning within my heart. i am forever grateful to that beautiful woman who encouraged me to keep walking the straight and narrow path, to walk it, not to just allow me to cross it on the odd occasion. 

it is without a doubt her influence that helped me remain active in the gospel throughout my life, seek a companion who shared my desire to be married in the temple and bring up my own children in the gospel. 

i only hope i can be the kind of mother to madeline that she has been to me and to have the strength to say no when my mother radar goes off... no matter how hard that may be.